Thursday, July 07, 2005

hey hey!!

yeah, probably gonna start blogging now and again again. at:

http://www.xanga.com/herschelchocolate

or maybe i should write another web story for relevant. man, if i was watching martin lawrences show right now, and he said his signature, "You so crazy," i could almost believe that he was talking to me.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

that time of the month


The feeling I have is pretty silly right now. I haven't posted in a while, and I kind of feel overwhelmed with the stuff that I could put in here. I also am wary of making a long and boring post. But nothing I have to say is exciting or important, so I am not concerned about that. And MUTM has been really poor for a while now, so anything might help. I don't know, I just feel aprehensive about the whole thing. Oh well.

First, a bit about MUTM. I don't know about anyone else, but I check it daily, and a lot of days I check it more than that. Somehow, after days of nothing new, I think that maybe it will be updated with something exciting. But I am almost always let down. Podcasting is great and all, but the response seems rather poor and it bores me.

Second. I don't know about anyone else, but my bed eats things and then vomits them later in the night. Every night I lose at least two things. One is the remote to my ipod speaker thing. The other is my bookmark. The bookmark is nothing special, just a bit of paper to mark my place. But almost every night I have to get a new one, and that means finding something small enough to fit in a book and not be absurd but also big enough to be accessible. I must have 87 pieces of torn paper bookmarks around and under my bed.(How they get under is beyond me. If they fall of the side, they must catch a breeze and fly under. Or maybe they land on the ground and go for a walk. I don't know.) My book reading ritual is pretty simple. I pick up a book, lay my body down, put covers over my body, open my book and almost at the same time pull my bookmark from the top and place it on my bed. Seconds, and I do not exaggerate, seconds later, it is gone. Sometimes I get mad and tear my bed up looking for it. But I never find it. Until the morning, when it winds up on my face like a lover. AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. As I said before, I also lose my remote. And it's pretty much the same thing, except it usually winds up by my feet. Then I kick it, and I get scared that there is a creature in my bed because the remote is cold. Again, somehow it moves from where I put it down to the feet part of my bed. I thought that there might have been a conveyor belt or a suction channel built into my sheets, but when I switched positions and put my head where my feet go, it still went to the feet part. But tonight takes the cake. Since I switched positions I started putting my phone on the box spring. The other way I could put it on the other side of my bed and it wouldn't be interfered with, but this new way I seem to punch it off my bed a lot. So I moved my matress over and made a shelf with the box spring. My phone is my alarm and that is why it needs to be by my head. Anyway, this morning my mom wakes me up before my alarm goes off, and I pick up my phone to see what time it is. And I ask my mom what she wants, she says I have to weedwack, and I look at the phone again to make sure that it is indeed 9 in the morning on my sleep-in-saturday. And I get up, and put my phone on my bed as I am standing up. Throughout the day I go in my room to look for my phone and repeatedly find nothing. Not under my bed, not under my pillow, not in my sheets. Tonight, at about 1.00 I get home from the movies and I decide to call my phone because I have had enough of this hide and seek business. And I hear it vibrate. It's on my bed. I can't find it. I call again, and its under my pillow. I lift my pillow, its not there. I call again, and it is INSIDE MY PILLOWCASE. At the very base-seam part. Somedays you feel like you are on candid camera, and this was one of those days.

I had more stuff, but it's too long as it is. I don't even feel like checking for grammatical correctness, or spelling. I can't believe I wrote all that about losing stuff in my bed




Oh. I just decided to ask this question. If you could sing one song and only one song well, (for your personal enjoyment, not financial future) what song would it be? My song would be Danke Schoen. And I would sing it as a young wayne newton.